From One to Three

Hey Everyone,

Hope you’re all keeping safe and well, during this time.
I was so grateful for the messages and comments from everyone from my last post. It has been truly an overwhelming experience.

I received a copy of the second translated letter, I read through it once. I wasn’t able to re-read it again until a few days later, as I was unsure how I felt about what she wrote. Both of my parents had to provide me with some perspective and a better understanding, that I didn’t really think about.  I can’t and wasn’t able to possibly imagine how she feels and my lack of understanding didn’t allow me to see it that way. My perspective was affected by my own emotions of this process and pre-conceived ideas of why things are the way they are. 

Time is a big part in this process and as you can imagine from my point of view. I’ve gone from 8 years of searching to all of a sudden having contact and reading things I never thought I would. As time goes on I’ll feel a little more settled as I get to know and understand her. At this stage I’m only going to share some parts with you. 

I noticed in both my letters, the first thing she writes about is the appreciation and love she has for my parents raising me. Although I feel through reading the letters, that she holds a lot of guilt. My birth mother shared with me the struggles and complications she endured during her pregnancy, with my birth father, her family, his family and herself. 

One thing I do understand, is that my birth mother (Sun Ok) has courage, strength and determination to be where she is today. There is big stigma that still exists today in Korea regarding pregnancy of unmarried parents in Korea. So you can only imagine what it was like approximately 25 years ago. If she caved into the surrounded pressures she had from all different directions, I most definitely wouldn’t be here today.

It was nice to read in the letter, she told her husband (not my birth father) about me and he has accepted me with open arms and hopes to one day meet me. I think this is such an amazing and unexpected response.

My mother also mentioned she told my grandmother (birth fathers, mum) that I was a boy due to the pressure she was receiving from them…. you know, the whole superior gender thing.

So from one to three…….My birth mother (Sun Ok) told me my birth father has two kids that she is aware of and believes he is also married as well. I’m a little hesitant from what she has told me in the letter, that my birth father and his family want to know me. I’ve asked my birth mother a few more questions about him, so hopefully i’ll be able to share some more details soon. 

Not long now till I receive my next letter, chat soon x